Lost

I'm lost in your thoughts.

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your minds a fine tuned violin, streaming constant notes. random yet beautiful.
and my education, experience, knowledge...stand close to nothing compared to it.

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your eyes tell a story thats lost in the back of your brain, not even your body identifies.
But i'll follow the concern. fear. passion in your eyes till its gone.

promise.

.and when its gone..i'm gone.

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your actions. your personality. your beauty.

..lost with the insecurities of your thoughts.

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your faults. your beliefs. and your lusts.

...shine through your soul like moonshine.

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Great. Bad. love.

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concern. strategy. fear. and planning

swim through the notes of your violin like fish.

swimming in circles, taunting and winning without doubt..

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Your perfect. and your insecurities. faults. beliefs. make you that way.

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So smile when i call your name. and stretch your arms to the sun.

reelllaaxxx. and live your life.

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tune your violin to wherever you want it.

who says it has to be a certain note.

then play for me.

.

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play your notes for my open ears.. tell them the secrets you're scared to even think.

build bridges made of steel to where your mind wont be lost anymore.

find the thoughts you've needed, and put other thoughts in cages not to be found again.

this is your world.

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I'm building a castle. while you drink the sun.

carless and free .

&

I'll watch you build the essentials. while i drink the moon..

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Lights radiating through both of us, subtle differences..but still light.

for eachother.

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Carfree and lost, in a world where being found isnt wanted.

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i'll swim through your out of tuned violin anyday..

cause the truth is

you swim through mine

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-Alex

Decaff or Regular.

Today i was walking my dog gidget about 4.6 miles on a public road. We were at the last little hill up to my house when i saw a wood bridge leading to a trail into the woods. I quickly, without hesitation, turned to go up the wood bridge.
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Stopping at the entrance to the path i realized that i'm now making a decision that could quite possibly change my life. I dont know why i felt so strongly about this..but after realizing that, i couldnt decide.
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I seriously couldnt decide if i wanted to walk up the wood path or the street.ha

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If i walk up the wood path, maybe the bridge would break and gidget would fall and die or something. But if i walked up the street, i could get hit by a car or like a bus or something.

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I sat there, and then hesitantly took some timid steps up the wood bridge. Walking slow and softly, hoping that the bridge wouldnt break. once i got through the trail, and too the top of the hill, i realized that these small decisions are part of all of our lives everyday.

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We decide to drive or walk.

to work out or stay home.

to go tanning or sit by the pool.

to go to school or sluff.

which shirt to wear.

which food to eat.

.

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all of these impact us and our lives.

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and honestly it scares me.

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Then i remember that i believe everything happens for a reason.

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If its my time to die or gidgets..then its going to happen, wether i walk up the wood path and drown in a river, or walk up the street and get hit by a car.

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maybe this is a little dramatic, and maybe you'll think i'm insane after reading this.

.

but i guess what i'm trying to say is, next time your given the choice between decaff or regular.

choose carefully.

-Alex Brynn

sounding life out loud.

Tasting the fear on your breath.
my smile grows into my eyes, radiating through yours.

Its not the the fear that excites me, but the knowledge i'm gaining from you.
I'm soaking in your body language, your style, your sucess, your faults.
till i'm full.

I understand.
completely.

I know where your coming from, and you might not understand how.

but i'm here.
now.

so make it known.
speak your mind.
sound your life out loud.

no one can stop you from what your about to say.
and everyone secretely wants to hear it.

Dont be shy.

Wasting time alone. is no way to live.
others can relate..and help you in ways your mind cant comprehend.

Trials make you who you are..make us who we all are.
Your wrong turns, your mistakes, your lies, your pain.
I want it.

I want the knowlege you've gained from your past.
The world needs the knowledge hiding in your soul.
so let me breathe you in so i can spit back the words unsaid.

We work everyday towards what we want. and knowledge is what we need.
You are more important to me to all of us..than you'll ever know or understand.

so help the world out.
help yourself.

sound your life out loud.

-Alex Brynn

Mindness

you like it when i speak my mind.

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well..

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I hate flip flops.

stupid name..for a stupid shoe.

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I get embarressed when people know i'm vegetarian.

its my personal choice. stop making fun.

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I act like i'm alot stronger than i really am.

the little things get to me.

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I feel like I've lost every talent i used to have.

when the truth is..i just stopped practicing.

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I've always wanted a tattoo.

& i'll get one soon.

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I havent learned to forgive completely yet.

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I'm easily distracted.

mostly in the most critical moments.

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to get out of awkward situations or fights.

i'll say a joke.

and act like it was funny.

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I have an obsession of clothes.

slight obsession.

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I love singing.

in my car. my room. the shower.

anywhere you cant hear.

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My car gives me confidence..

i think its sexy.

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I love to love.

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I always want things i cant have.

but everyone does.

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I'm much better at giving advice than following it.

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I love guys in tight jeans.

you know its hott.

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I'm only 5'2 and 1/2..but i'll always say i'm 5'3.

its sad.

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most of the time i know the answer.

but i'll ask anyway.

default.

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I love making you feel good.

smart. cool. lovable.

you got it.

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I dont pay attention to politics.

and that doesnt make me dumb.

i honestly just dont care.

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I love coffee.

not because it makes me look cool, but because of the taste & caffiene.

mhm weird.

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i was the most insecure in my life, my first semester of college.

i'm not sure why that is.

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I'm easily bored.

and it has nothing to do with my surroundings.

i just love change.

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i think that people who are racist

should go to hell.

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I almost tried to pee in a bottle once.

while driving a man van across the US.

i think the manliness of the van was getting to me.

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I didnt shave for two weeks once.

and i felt as if i'd gone off the deep end.

just glad to be back :)

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I hate when guys show off.

but it secretly turns me on.

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^^ i have no idea^^

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I love dogs. and i want one .

but i think its just cause i'm lonely.

so i refuse to let myself get one.

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I'm picky.

and i find myself settling for less than i want.

alot.

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I love my girlfriends.

their amazing.

some have changed.

but i'll always love them.

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this is about 1/4 of my mind.

here on paper.

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I was talked into blogging by a good friend.

its helped me more than he'll ever know.

.

-Alex

uncomfortable

the taste of your lips. the feel of your skin. the passion in your eyes.
awake and its gone.

not a dream..but a moment.
emptiness fills the void you left when the door shut.

I dont realize the emptiness growing and growing...but it is.
one name slips into my thoughts and i smile at the thought of his name.
with a short phone call..i feel a little better..but when his name gets clouded in other thoughts..the emptiness takes over.

i'm alone in a place where i know everyone..
that isnt right.

another name slips into my head and another. i'm intrigued by the thoughts and keep them in my head to try and fill the unknown emptiness.

but its overpowering..and before i know it..the door shuts, and my pain is throbbing.

i dont care about you..you dont care about me.

and then i realize.

i'm alone in a place where i know only names and faces..
i dont know you, and i havent tried.
but your the void filler for the moment..and maybe i'm doing this all wrong.

i'm sorry do i love you?
wait..do i know you..

your heart is caged by metal bars, and the keys is occupied.
theres no room, and i'm not offended..i'm just glad were on the same page.

i'm alone in a place where one nights all you need