Inspiration

you inspire me.
its how you act. how you talk. your way of art. music. your lifestyle alone intrigues me.
invite me.
you inspire me...to be my own person. to find my passion in life. follow dreams. make myself known..inspire others.

i'm happy knowing that your there. watching me grow.

Thank you. for sharing your talents. for making me who i am today.

its always amazing to have someone to look up to. its even more amazing to realize that others are looking up to you.

i met this beautiful little girl the other day.. i was walking down the street...just doing my job.

of course if you know me i'm quite friendly..and it takes me about half hour to pass one block.. i definately stop for everyone on the street. talk about their day.share some quick laughter. and then back on my way.

this time was different.

i stopped.

she stared.

i complimented her on her pink bicycle.

she stared.

i complimented her on her nice beaded braids.

she blinked.

i said..sweetheart whats wrong. are you okay?

she cried.

still no words. whats up.

after a hug..and a tear stained shirt..she whispered the words.

can you keep a secret... i whispered. i'll keep your secret forever.

she pushed out the words.

i'm scared my parents are going to not be together anymore.

^^^Flashback^^^

August 19, 2008.

were getting a divorce.

I've been through the same thing. Seeing this tiny little girl going through the same thing that i did was heart breaking..i was 17 when it happened, and this little girl was only about 9.

thinking of how many times i was inspired to be strong through it all. and thinking of all the things i did wrong because of it.

it was my turn.

to inspire this little girl.

I knew when i was feeling this way..when someone would tell me what to do i blew it off.

So i started into a story.. about myself.

i told her about all the things i did..of course..leaving out the wrong turns i made.

even though our situations were very different. the light in her eyes as i was telling her what i did..was intense. she wanted to hear what i did next..she was breathing in my knowledge..

at the end. i told her to find something to clear her mind.

I told her about my writing addiction..and how i have notebooks and notebooks of words..never read..just to clear my mind.

she smiled and took out her journal from her backpack.

she flipped open the blank pages and through inspiration..she asked if it was okay if she tried the same thing that i did, to clear her mind.

me being so excited smiled, and carefully took her notebook and on the first page i sketched the words...everything is going to be okay.

you know..i dont know if everything will be okay for this little girl..but as she sat on the sidewalk next to her bike and her bags, i saw her concentration as she wrote words on the blank pages.

even through all of the hard times that her parents and herself are going to face, shes going to be strong. .and that i can be certain of.

So thank you.

for inspiring me.

you inspired me to be strong. to be caring. to love.

and through your inspiration i've been inspired to inspire others.

-Alex Brynn Zite

Changing. Changes.

i love changes. i'm not sure if its good or bad how much i like to change.

if you know me..you know how much i change my clothes in one day..and how often i love to color my hair, or paint my nails. How i always change my mind on what to do, switch sides on points of view, and how i cant do one thing for too long.

i love this lifestyle, i've gotten to experience so much more from how i am. but this lifestyle isnt for everyone...

You have to stay strong. know who your true friends are. and always have atleast one thing thats your constant...something that doesnt change, and is always there for you.

Blonde. Brown. Red. Black.

covered it all. I've been through some pretty ugly hair momentss.but thats part of my life :)

Tight Jeans. Boots. High Heels. Vest. Tank Top. Stripes. Short Shorts. Tie Dye. Plaid. Glove. Head Band. Rings. Chains. Tights. Jumper.

Been through alot..loved it all.

I love change..if that point hasnt come across in thiss at all.

Sometimes change is bad...of course like everything has a down side. Im always the same person however..some people dont get that..unfortunately.

& the numbered few who do understand me are part of my constant.. no matter what i look like or what i'm doing their there for me. and i love that.

Even as my beliefs and mind changes... i appreciate the few that are right there with me..

They dont have too agree with me, or understand everything that i do. but they dont try to change me to be something i'm not.. and thats why i love them..you know who you are.. :)

As i change my hair. clothes. mind. thoughts. & else.

i think of you.

love thats lost..and found

Love.

i'm not even sure this is a topic i should be speaking about. but its on my mind..

and this is my cleanse.

love is a bitch.

but some bitches are likeable..you know like that one person thats soo upsetting but everyone likes for some reason..thats what love is like.

^^some of the time^^

i cant say that love is always like that. because i personally love being in love. the thrill. the passion. the drive to be more fitting.

love changes people, for the better. and in some cases for the worse.

love can blind you from the path you had planned. it can make you think differently than before.

thats why you need to be very careful while falling in love.

i was in love. i was maddly in love once...and a feeling like that never goes away.try and try and try to forget me..i'll do the same.

love is a scary thing..especially your first time round the block..

i had an amazing first love..

it was increadible. i was free. and i wasnt careful.

it was the first time i was in love..how could something go wrong?

then the lies came out..both from him and myself..

neither of us were ready for what we were fealing, and neither of us knew how to handle it.

.WAIT FOR THE RIGHT TIME.

it was devestating to realize that we were too young for the fealings we had.

but that was our first step to maturity.

leaving was the second.

But now look at us. we've each grown to live our own lives working towards what we love. ..on oposite sides of the country...

i learned so so much from him..and i hope i left a lasting impression on him as well.

i learned that i can love.

that i can trust.

i can achieve my goals.

how to go for what i want in life.

the importance of honesty.

that i'm a person worth loving.

confidence.
how to care about someone.

romance..

and many other thingss.

i hope the second time around with love is better than the first..no matter who its with.

it could be with my first man..or someone else. but i'm going to know what i'm doing and be super careful.

respect me. i'll always respect you

try to trust me..i'll try to trust you.

&

love me and i'll love you.

everyone deserves to find love..it changes you as a person..and you find who you really are, and who you want to be.

if the time isnt right in your life, dont worry. the time will come, and when it does be ready..

love is dangerous...but love is always beautiful.

-Alex Brynn

Trust you?..

Trust me...

i met a complete strager on the street the other day when i needed directions.. i asked which way it was to the pool..he pointed in the complete oposite direction that i was going, and when i gave him a look of confusion.. he said TRUST ME its back that way.

trust him... really?..he wants me to trust him.

so i slowly nodded and continued on the path i was going, to the next lady..i asked which way it was to the pool..she pointed the way i was headed and said its a couple blocks down, look for it on your left.

she didn't ask me to trust her. she didnt expect me too, how could i trust someone i dont know..she understood me.

so i followed her directions..and on the way i discovered my trust issues.

i always knew i had a hard time trusting people..i've been hurt, and broken too many times, why would i possibly let someone else do the same thing to me again.

i knew i had my own back..thats all that mattered, i thought...

then i realized the relationships i've lost over trust..the friendships i've hurt over trust..and the hearts i've destroyed.

how could i ever build a relationship with someone if i could never say..i trust you.

believe me telling someone you trust them is a huge step..a huggee step, very seldom taken by my short legs. I take small steps, small timid steps very carefully placed.. thats the best way.

someday i honestly hope to be able to jump off the tight rope i'm crossing and trust with all my heart.

but jumping off a tight rope is risky..not to mention super scarey..so its something you have to prepare for..and i dont know how to even begin to prepare my heart for the knife of trust.

thats the way i look at trust..as a knife. A big knife that is so easily handed out but when its given, people completely take advantage of what they have in their hands..and thats when people are hurt, hearts are broken, and families are destroyed.

i've dealt with a lot of problems, all problems that could have been avoided i feel like. If only i didnt trust them in the first place..right? my heart wouldnt have been so dissapointed.

Wrong.

The pain, and the feelings i've felt have made me who i am today..they have made me completely stronger than i could have ever imagined.

even though i'm still timid with my trust..i hope to one day be able to hear something and not doubt it, i hope to love someone and not worry, and i hope to one day gain trust again for those who've lost it.

Alex Brynn

incomplete

Steady job. Solid friendss. Nice apartment. Confidence. Great life. Style. Love.

leave it all behind..try something new.. why?

My life is incomplete.. your life is incomplete. We cant know our lives are perfect, unless we've tried other ways of living them.

& i mean that in the best way possible

I love my life in Utah. I love my friends. job. and everything out there. But how can i know thats where i'm supposed to be in life...that is all i've done.

so..i left.

We start driving... me and zach..taking turns, following a couple words scribbled on paper.

probably not the best idea we ever had..but hey..it was an idea, and idea on how to change our lives. to try something new.

We drove across the country. passing through wyoming, nebraska, iowa, illinois, indiana, ohio, pennsylvania, new jersey, new york, conneticut..ending in rhode island.

seeing scenes never seen before by my eyes. things i would have never beheld if i didnt make this turn on my canvas.

in the moments of happiness and hard work. It was worth it.

Friendship. Social life. Great apartment. Fun.
the whole scene of Rhode island seemed to be there.

so...i left.

Back on the road.

states flying by... connecticut. new york. new jersey. deleware. maryland. Virginia. this time ending in North Carolina. :)

i found friends. a life there seemed possible of living...hard work layed in front of me ready for me to take hold...

the opportunities were abundant. and the people seemed lively..full of life..ready to blow their life.skill.knowledge into my body.

i breathed it in. i took as much knowledge as i could.

and..i left.

this time backtracking it.. back to Virginia

my brothers made his name known here. he knows what he's doing and his experience seems beneficial to the skill needed on my behalf.

With the knowledge and experience soaked in by my trip cross country. i'm ready to start a new page of my adventure.

the adventure to find where i'm supposed to be.