Mindness

you like it when i speak my mind.

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well..

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I hate flip flops.

stupid name..for a stupid shoe.

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I get embarressed when people know i'm vegetarian.

its my personal choice. stop making fun.

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I act like i'm alot stronger than i really am.

the little things get to me.

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I feel like I've lost every talent i used to have.

when the truth is..i just stopped practicing.

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I've always wanted a tattoo.

& i'll get one soon.

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I havent learned to forgive completely yet.

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I'm easily distracted.

mostly in the most critical moments.

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to get out of awkward situations or fights.

i'll say a joke.

and act like it was funny.

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I have an obsession of clothes.

slight obsession.

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I love singing.

in my car. my room. the shower.

anywhere you cant hear.

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My car gives me confidence..

i think its sexy.

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I love to love.

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I always want things i cant have.

but everyone does.

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I'm much better at giving advice than following it.

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I love guys in tight jeans.

you know its hott.

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I'm only 5'2 and 1/2..but i'll always say i'm 5'3.

its sad.

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most of the time i know the answer.

but i'll ask anyway.

default.

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I love making you feel good.

smart. cool. lovable.

you got it.

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I dont pay attention to politics.

and that doesnt make me dumb.

i honestly just dont care.

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I love coffee.

not because it makes me look cool, but because of the taste & caffiene.

mhm weird.

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i was the most insecure in my life, my first semester of college.

i'm not sure why that is.

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I'm easily bored.

and it has nothing to do with my surroundings.

i just love change.

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i think that people who are racist

should go to hell.

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I almost tried to pee in a bottle once.

while driving a man van across the US.

i think the manliness of the van was getting to me.

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I didnt shave for two weeks once.

and i felt as if i'd gone off the deep end.

just glad to be back :)

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I hate when guys show off.

but it secretly turns me on.

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^^ i have no idea^^

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I love dogs. and i want one .

but i think its just cause i'm lonely.

so i refuse to let myself get one.

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I'm picky.

and i find myself settling for less than i want.

alot.

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I love my girlfriends.

their amazing.

some have changed.

but i'll always love them.

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this is about 1/4 of my mind.

here on paper.

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I was talked into blogging by a good friend.

its helped me more than he'll ever know.

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-Alex

uncomfortable

the taste of your lips. the feel of your skin. the passion in your eyes.
awake and its gone.

not a dream..but a moment.
emptiness fills the void you left when the door shut.

I dont realize the emptiness growing and growing...but it is.
one name slips into my thoughts and i smile at the thought of his name.
with a short phone call..i feel a little better..but when his name gets clouded in other thoughts..the emptiness takes over.

i'm alone in a place where i know everyone..
that isnt right.

another name slips into my head and another. i'm intrigued by the thoughts and keep them in my head to try and fill the unknown emptiness.

but its overpowering..and before i know it..the door shuts, and my pain is throbbing.

i dont care about you..you dont care about me.

and then i realize.

i'm alone in a place where i know only names and faces..
i dont know you, and i havent tried.
but your the void filler for the moment..and maybe i'm doing this all wrong.

i'm sorry do i love you?
wait..do i know you..

your heart is caged by metal bars, and the keys is occupied.
theres no room, and i'm not offended..i'm just glad were on the same page.

i'm alone in a place where one nights all you need

Make it happen

day after day after day.

The days drag into nights that drag into days.
theres no escape..and the tunnel keeps extending.

I'm told to push through it..it wont last forever..keep going.

But when the hell will it stop.

I'm 19 and having a mid life crisis.

is this supposed to happen.

My work days dont end..serving..selling...knocking..cooking.

I cant get ahead of myself.

I leave for the summer to push through the money trials and come out on top.

only to face the hard truth that i'll be starting my 9 to 5 job right when i'm back.

I work hard everyday..for what?

I WANT TO GO TO COLLEGE.

i'm trying..i've missed one semester..and i feel completely left behind.

I'm about to miss another semester..who's fault is that.

MINE.

am i too picky?

should i settle with a college and a life i'm not completely satisfied with.

should i give up my dream to follow whats easier.

Nahh.

I'm not giving up.

My dream is to finish school for interior design in Los Angelos.

Hopefully get an "in" out there..and let my design career take off.

I want to get into commercial designing..hotels. resturaunts. theaters. malls.

but i have to be known first.

Its a difficult dream..but i'm willing to take the huge risk of putting everything on the line, to have it.

I'm very impatient. & the more i'm working and working.

i feel like i'm going no where.. and my impatient mind tells me to stop dreaming.

but then the part of my mind that i like..tells me its not just a dream, i can do it.

So here i am...

a young girl from midway utah.

wanting to make it big in design.

i'm sure you heard this dream before..

i'm sure i'm not the only one dying to be known for what i love.

But i will make it happen.

Whats your dream?

-Alex Brynn