sown shut.

Your mind focuses through the shallow water into the depth i hold.
while my eyes try only to focus on the better light within.


your arms comfort my mind as it races.
my kiss comforts the thoughts you hide.


the lips on your mouth speak words i only wish were true.
while your body turns and walks away.



my pain swallowed by fear of never seeing you again
is brought back by the realization that i wont.


i wish i could say that its a bad thing.
but my lips wont open to speak the words.





my hearts sown shut..never to open again.

your thoughts stuck in my head like wax.

your picture burned in my eyes.

your memories swim through my soul.

close my eyes.

relax.

and erase.

until its gone.

my eyes squint open with hesitation to what i'll see.

and with a smile i realize.

my eyes are clear.

my thoughts are my own.

and my soul is clean.

my life is free and never to be taken.

my hearts still sown shut..never to be openend again.

Its in my hands now.

what comes next is completely in the making of my mind.

and for once i enjoy the freedom and power i have.

i'm careful but carefree.

i'm lost but exactly where i want to be.

i'm strong but emotional.

i'm confident & i'm happy.

and time passes..ever so slowly.

Then he comes along.

and one by one he pulls out the stitches keeping me together.

and as they fall out I worry he's opening a past and a pain i've locked away.

all the sudden the stitches are gone.

and i close my eyes.

.......

I wait for the pain to take over and the memories thoughts and pictures to be burned into my eyes and body forever.

till i squint my eyes open with hesitation.

& with enlightenment..i realize that all thats left is a scar.

a scar so tiny so unsignificant that it doesn't matter.

and now i'm open minded with an open heart.

and as your eyes see through my pain and into my depth

your smile grows into mine.

your kiss comforts me completely.

and your arms keep me at ease.

its a new feeling that i vaguely remember...but never actually had.

its real. and for once i feel alive.

your the answer to the wishes i've made my whole life.

and then i realize.

The scar i thought would last forever is fading to the distance as my heart acts whole again.

you've completed me.

-Alex